Robots also read in the restroom!!

Today, Maikel did an astonishing discovery, thorough his wide list of scientist spies/contacts that he has made during his eternal stay at CERN...
His friend Jose Tokio managed to get this picture from a hidden camera in the toilet of a super robotics secret research institution. One of the robots of the lab was found there!!! And he was even reading!!!
It is still to be investigated if the toilets shit anti-matter, like CERN scientists...
Also, it is worth to investigate which kind of toilet paper it is better for taking care of their delicate ass cutis.
In addition, in this photo it was made another unspeakable discovery: if you pay a lot of attention, you can see the foot of someone hiding behind the poor robot, who is unaware of the disgusting fact... So, there are also robot voyeurs who enjoy looking at them!!! Puajjj

Higgs boson finally discovered by CERN!!! And it is a sheep!!!!

Dr. Eleni (even before finishing her PhD) claimed the final discovery of Higgs boson at CERN, based in an impressive and innovative research work by Dr. Juan (see this reference, previously published in this same blog), which was motivated by the amazing and surprising discovery by Dr. Elena, with her photographic identification of the particle field.

As you can see in the figure 1 of the paper, in the middle of the phase space there is an object passing thorough (a car) inside the detector, specifically in the CERN roundabout close to entrance B. But that particle's movement is clearly slowed down by something. The so-called "sheep field", filling all the space in the picture, is getting attached to the particle, slowing down its movement in the same exact way as if the particle acquired mass. That is exactly the Higgs principle!!! Surprisingly, none of Dr. Juan and Dr. Elena noticed the effect.

We can also appreciate in figure 1 that the sheep field is composed of some kind of individual and indivisible quanta of so-called "sheep". In principle, CERN scientists could be able in a near future to separate bunches of such sheep and being able one day to isolate one of them, to study the properties of this sheep quanta, the Higgs boson.

The sheep, Higgs, were always there... just waiting for us to detect them... Finally we managed to do it. This is a great day... just a little step for a sheep, but a huge step for mankind!!

CERN finally hiring new scientists!!!

Maria Elena did an amazing discovery at the end of December, right before CERN's xmas shutdown break. She took the photo you can see in this post.

As people was starting going on vacation for xmas holidays, other 'scientists' were arriving CERN, meant to replace them... Unfortunately, many CERN workers will arrive back from vacation and will find the letter on their desk, telling them that they are fired, replaced by far more productive scientists, meant to discover Higgs, extra dimensions and the answer for life, universe and everything.

Someone pointed out that these new scientists look a bit weird. Like sheep. But it's ok, everybody here knows that CERN workers are typically a bit nerd / geek / weird anyway :D

What we don't know is the reason for this. Maybe the CERN member states think that CERN got a low research productivity and want to increase it with the talent of these sheep? Maybe it's a joke for all of us, telling us that even a sheep is more intelligent than us, with our PhDs and stuff? Maybe the reason is just that CERN ran out of budget and now is growing sheep, as they think that the future of CERN will not be in science but in farming??? The only thing we can do is to wait, outside our old offices, looking at the sheep... and thinking about our future, and the extra dimensions...

Gordon Freeman spotted at CERN... AGAIN!!!

You can see that the end of the world is coming...

I already warned about Gordon Freeman being spotted at CERN (http://nakedcern.blogspot.com/2010/10/gordon-freeman-spotted-at-cern.html).

Now, Piero has discovered the following photo of him trying to kill one of these little monsters coming from the parallel dimension world of Xen. He screwed up with the latest Heavy Ion collisions and now is trying to kill the little monsters hoping that nobody will notice!!! No luck, these photos prove that they are already among us...

Well, some people already pointed out that the monsters are not so ugly. Compared with CERN boys and girls, they are actually even cute... mmm, I think I'm falling in love... Uuuuuuuuuh!!!

ET's resurrection!!!!

Something happened to one of Maikel's friends. One day, something appeared like going out from her hair. Most people just thought that she started mutating into something weird. That is a very well known secondary effect of being physicist, specially if you have ever been at CERN. But this time was different. Someone positively identified the strange shape on top of her head as being... ET's hand!!!!

Then, we were wondering how is possible that we get news from ET so long time after its first movie. Now it all makes sense. We all thought that it went back to its planet. But the truth is much darker. Eventually, the spaceship had a problem and ET fell down to Earth again. And now all indicates that it went into Esther's head!!! Finally, after many years of hard work, he is managing to escape and already has a hand out. Good work, ET!! Keep going!!! Soon, this will become the second movie: "ET 2. Resurrection."

But someone else pointed out that ET is probably dead since long time ago. It could not survive so long without food and whatever it needs... So, if this is its hand. This means that it is a zombie!!! It is hard to think about that but our dear ET has become a zombie!! And after eating Esther's brain, finally is managing to escape from the hair prison and will spread the terror all around the world!!!

Only CERN's LHC can save us. We are already pointing our anti-matter beams to the hair prison but unfortunately we could only produce 38 anti-atoms so we could only scratch ET.... We will try to do it better next time!!!
http://bigthink.com/ideas/25097

CERN dark secret!!!

Today Maikel wanted to try out the toilet in front of his new office in building 10 (yes!!! after 2 years of contract, finally he got an office!! he shares it with other 5 people but still is better than nothing!!). When he entered into the restroom, he made a fatal discovery. That CERN toilet smells like shit. And he swears it was not his fault. The smell was abnormally unhealthy. Like... some physics... shit... Then, he realizes that right aside is LEIR, the anti-matter ring (where first anti-matter atoms were ever created by mankind). Finally, wondering about how do these machines get the anti-matter (with the help of Valentina's insane intelligence), everything made sense: CERN physicists shit anti-matter and that is the fuel used for the accelerators!!!! That is the "dark" secret of CERN!!! And of course, that also solves the mystery about why CERN's restaurants food is so awful!!! We surely have been eating something unusual to be able to shit antimatter!!!

Gordon Freeman spotted at CERN!!!

What?? You don't know who is Gordon Freeman?? I guess you work at CERN by mistake because you are not nerd enough as you did not play Half Life in your life :)

In that computer game, Gordon Freeman arrives late for work at the Black Mesa Research Facility, using its tram system. He suits on his HEV suit before proceeding to the test chamber of the Anomalous Materials Lab, to assist in an experiment. He is tasked with pushing a non-standard specimen into the scanning beam of the Anti-Mass Spectrometer for analysis. This creates a catastrophe called a "resonance cascade, opening a portal between Earth and a dimension called Xen.

We hope that Freeman didn't come to CERN to screw it up again!!! XD

PS: I must give credit to Fernando for providing me such important photograph

R1 vs R2... superheroes FIGHT!!!

During past days some unexpected super-event happened at CERN, and many people did not even noticed it. Someone in a group of friends decided to create a poll to discuss the never-ending debate about if going to lunch to R1 or R2. The results of the poll were totally unexpected.

Many well known (and not so well known) super heroes voted there!!!
http://doodle.com/gwmrquvsepvtxckm

Unfortunately, most of them went somewhere else than to R1 or R2 or went disguised so they were unnoticed.

Strangely, the day after, another mysterious poll appeared. And this time many other superheroes voted!!
http://www.doodle.com/ve7ga9u7cxh96i96

We got few conclusions from that.

• First, probably Virginia is dating spiderman!!!
• Second, Jorge may be spiderman or may know him!!!
• Third, there was a more than probable sabotage of the votations!!!

In the other hand, today there was a big female fight between Virginia and Eli for going to R1 or R2. Finally Eli won because of the non show up of her opponent (had to go to P5 in a hurry, probably to have lunch with Spiderman in the Carrefour restaurant).

All Greek CERN girls have boyfriend!!!

At least this is the impression that Maikel got after talking with Mikaela. Every single Greek girl at CERN he knew about has a boyfriend. Maikel even thinks that this fact reinforces his theory about that every pretty girl is born with boyfriend (or has just broken up with him).

These are very unfortunate (but I would say expected) news for most desperate CERN guys without couple, who are now looking for other nationalities. Is there any hope for them?? Fortunately, there are other girls at CERN apart from the Greek ones so the demonstrations and riots have not still begun. It is still safe to walk around here, at least for the time being...

Camilo uses pyjamas!!

and these are very bad news. While having a coffee with him, Monica, Stefano and a mysterious Italian Mikaela who doesn't want people to know her real name, someone suggested to post in this blog real photos of naked Maikels/Mikaelas.

The first victim should be Camilo. It has already been decided. If we cannot have Isabel to share her private photos of him then we might have a problem. In addition, Camilo declared that he ALWAYS uses pyjamas so it is impossible that anyone ever in life took a photo of him naked. Monica suspects that this implies that he does not sleep at all, making such photo impossible. Maybe Camilo's super-power is the impossibility of seeing him naked.

Luckily, the mysterious Italian Mikaela said he can use photoshop and volunteered to make a tentative naked photo of Camilo.

Which is your super-power???

Today we were talking about the conversations we had long time ago about our friend's super-powers. The conversation came from the fact that I was feeling a bit like a banana ("aplatanado", in Spanish) and as I don't know the translation in English I tranlated the verb "to be bananed" directly to English. When you are bananed, you gain a strange super-power of being a bit apathetic and not in the mood of doing anything at all. Let's make a list:

• Banana power: you are able to convert anything, even a happy and funny situation, in something without any interest at all
• Monkey power (from Estebanito, he went to the doctor and told him "I have a problem I am like a Monkey" so Robin called him Monkeyman since then): when you are too long time typing in front of the computer and you cannot sit straight anymore
• Confusion attack (also from Estebanito? o maybe from Pablito?): it's the power of being able to confuse everybody
• Reflection attack: when you are able to reflect even the powerful Confusion attack so even the attacker gets confused
• Hot&&cold super power: Andrei's power of being at the same time a cool and a hot guy
• Hot||cold super power: Maikel's power of being hot when he is aside a girl and cool when he is aside a guy
• Sandeep's Guessing super power: his proven ability of being able to correctly guess stuff like the nationality of hot girls or if a given guy is gay or not

And you?? Which is your super-power?? :) For sure I'm forgetting many!!!

Amita discovered the gossip blog!!

And she says she will write stuff in there so be scared, very scared...

PS: ok, I wrote her actual name because most of you don't know her. You can just call her Mikaela. She is having trouble right now to get CERN wifi signal so we are safe as she cannot write stuff still.

PS2: also Alicia re-discovered the blog today and read the entry about her regarding the CMS control room!! :D

Lisbon gay striptease bar!

Maikel just came from Lisbon!! And he got back a t-shirt saying a joke in Portuguese that almost nobody gets from Pluto, the Disney character (in English: "Pluto is a son of a Pluta"). He might also bought other nice t-shirts like the one with the giraffe saying "Deep throat..." or the one of the male chicken with a saddle saying "Free cock rides".

While in Lisbon, one night he says he was working and not going out, other people (I repeat again, not him) went out looking for a typical Lisbon bar. A friend of a friend of them, told them about a nice pub to go in the center and they went there. The place was very promising, specially when they saw a very cute and pretty girl going out from there with few clothes, when they were entering the bar. Once inside, the show was... surprising. A tall guy dressed as a policeman was dancing slowly making a striptease in around the vertical central bar. Nobody even remembers the details of his policeman stick or how tight his clothes were. They say they stayed for long time in the bar because they think they heard by the speakers that the next stripteasers were supposed to be girls. Somehow they stayed there for some time but the girls did not appear. The following day everybody knows that someone was there but it was not clear who was in and who was just told about that...

Maikel is a "panzoncito"!!!

It is public. Maikel cannot hide it. He is fat (well, just a bit plump). He has already a little belly ("panza"). The R2 cafeteria cashier has told him (laughing) while inviting for coffee in front of the other Maikels that he is a... PANZONCITO :D

Official apologies to Evi!! (who found a flat)

She was very disgusted with Maikel's doubts regarding her... you-know-what. Then, Maikel and Mikaela have granted her with official Naked apologies from the blog! She turned out to be a nice and pretty girl, and what Maikel invented after seeing the tiny image from the chat when they first met was a very unfortunate event that we all wish will never be repeated. The you-know-what of Mikaela is totally clear now and nobody has doubts about it. Anyway, does anyone ever takes seriously any news from Maikel??

PS: in unrelated news, we are proud of giving a totally un-official announcement: she has found a flat in Meyrin!

Monica wants the links of Juan and Eleni's blogs!!

Uuuuuuuuuuuuh!!! Why would she want that stuff??? Is she curious, is she mad, does she really knows what she is facing??? XD

(by the way, the fact that Eleni has a blog is top secret, don't tell anyone; it's still in Beta and she is writing there like crazy but she does not want anyone to know it... shit!! I did it again!!)

Eleni's friend is here!!!

Nobody knows her name nor her face. Her name on facebook is "Pinkfloyd". Someone today said that probably she is married and is the wife of one of the Pinkfloyd members. The gossip is spreading. In the facebook photo you can see her from very far away, from a side, and with sunglasses, so it would be almost impossible to recognise her. Someone even said that maybe she is a man. Or maybe she just changed sex. Again. Who knows the truth...

Anyway, she is already working at CERN and she is looking for a flat. She wants to meet strong and handsome maikels to help her, and nice mikaelas to talk about girlish topics. Please, help her! We will meet for merienda one of these days. For lunch, she already met 2 handsome guys with whom she is going to lunch. You maikels already lost your opportunity for first contact...

Weina's new look at CERN!!

Weina got caught by the paparazzi cameras from Naked CERN while in the control room:

http://pdg2.lbl.gov/atlasblog/?p=204

We can see from the photo that she has a new and fashion haircut including dark curly hair. She also goes to the job with a new dressing style including a cute dark green sweater.

She came back to CERN for three weeks, ready to let CERN men to fall into her fishing net and to let CERN women envious about her style. Be aware!

sado-maso parties here??

There are rumours about sado-maso parties at CERN but I never saw them still.

Esther told me that we should inform her ad her friends as soon as details are known. She has her whip ready for it.

In the other hand, Marek suspects that all that is just some misunderstanding as in the CMS DAQ group they usually call SM to the Storage Manager group but many people is sure about that SM actually stands for Sado Maso group.

Which is the truth about that??

Successful dinner with Vale & Lna!!

Valentina and Elena's dinner was very successful from the point of view of the gossip. I'm sorry but the people who didn't come is not allowed to know the real names of the people. Their little reputation could be totally screwed up if their real names are published on the net.

We all learned that:

- Maikel prefered to go with Maikel to another dinner so now we all think that he is a bit gay and has some warm feelings for Maikel...

- Mikaela was doing "piecitos" (playing footsie) with some other men under the table. Well, she says she did nothing so there is a big concern about if there was one of the men doing that to other men by mistake... puajjjj!!!

- Mikaela and Maikel asked a dessert to share between them. A dessert that looked exactly as a... "fetcher belcher"!!! So disgusting...

- Maikel did not come and he did not reply the telephone in days... Some Maikel thinks that he is maintaining a dark relationship with some Mikaela...

- Maikel did not come either, with the nice excuse that he realized (almost one hour after being in the restaurant the rest) that his car was broken and could not come. He also claims that he was waiting for the Maikel who didn't show life signs in days...

- Mikaela came with a French maromo. Nobody knows till what extent is close. Anyway he didn't spoke much English so all is a mistery.

So, very interesting gossips this time!!!