Tuesday, January 11, 2011

CERN's LHC without competitor after 2011...

Not so funny as my usual news (and not invented, as usual). Actually I think they are sad news for science...

The second bigger and most powerful accelerator after CERN's LHC, the Tevatron of Fermilab, has officially declared that will close at the end of this year 2011:

Someone could imagine that they just close because we already discovered the Higgs and because they are not powerful enough as to make sheep-sheep collisions as us. Some other could argue that they close because they realize that CERN people is just more handsome. But the truth is most probably just other: money (we are in crisis, remember??)

Anyway, just the accelerator will close. They have many other experiments running that look promising. Let's hope for the best for our colleagues!!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Higgs boson finally discovered by CERN!!! And it is a sheep!!!!

Dr. Eleni (even before finishing her PhD) claimed the final discovery of Higgs boson at CERN, based in an impressive and innovative research work by Dr. Juan (see this reference, previously published in this same blog), which was motivated by the amazing and surprising discovery by Dr. Elena, with her photographic identification of the particle field.

As you can see in the figure 1 of the paper, in the middle of the phase space there is an object passing thorough (a car) inside the detector, specifically in the CERN roundabout close to entrance B. But that particle's movement is clearly slowed down by something. The so-called "sheep field", filling all the space in the picture, is getting attached to the particle, slowing down its movement in the same exact way as if the particle acquired mass. That is exactly the Higgs principle!!! Surprisingly, none of Dr. Juan and Dr. Elena noticed the effect.

We can also appreciate in figure 1 that the sheep field is composed of some kind of individual and indivisible quanta of so-called "sheep". In principle, CERN scientists could be able in a near future to separate bunches of such sheep and being able one day to isolate one of them, to study the properties of this sheep quanta, the Higgs boson.

The sheep, Higgs, were always there... just waiting for us to detect them... Finally we managed to do it. This is a great day... just a little step for a sheep, but a huge step for mankind!!

CERN finally hiring new scientists!!!

Maria Elena did an amazing discovery at the end of December, right before CERN's xmas shutdown break. She took the photo you can see in this post.

As people was starting going on vacation for xmas holidays, other 'scientists' were arriving CERN, meant to replace them... Unfortunately, many CERN workers will arrive back from vacation and will find the letter on their desk, telling them that they are fired, replaced by far more productive scientists, meant to discover Higgs, extra dimensions and the answer for life, universe and everything.

Someone pointed out that these new scientists look a bit weird. Like sheep. But it's ok, everybody here knows that CERN workers are typically a bit nerd / geek / weird anyway :D

What we don't know is the reason for this. Maybe the CERN member states think that CERN got a low research productivity and want to increase it with the talent of these sheep? Maybe it's a joke for all of us, telling us that even a sheep is more intelligent than us, with our PhDs and stuff? Maybe the reason is just that CERN ran out of budget and now is growing sheep, as they think that the future of CERN will not be in science but in farming??? The only thing we can do is to wait, outside our old offices, looking at the sheep... and thinking about our future, and the extra dimensions...

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Soap Opera about CERN!!!

In this link you can find a chapter of a fictional latinoamerican soap opera based at CERN that Fidel sent us :)

Sorry for the non latinoamerican-Spanish speaking people!!! I'll just tell briefly the storyline for them:

An average physicist girl working at CERN, dressing very sexy, in high heels and alone at CERN control room, is just doing important calculations, as usual (by the way, she gets a 15% probability of generating a black hole, I wonder which model did she use for getting such a figure...). Then, a young grant holder enters the room and tries to seduce her (again). Finally, the husband of her catches them in the right moment and threaten them saying that he will switch the LHC to generate a black hole that will destroy the world and mankind (and he does).

It is so fun!! Just remember that this is all fiction (don't try to do it alone at home with your own accelerator!!). And of course, as we always remind, keep in mind that it is impossible that LHC generates black holes that will destroy the Earth!! The Sun and other cosmic things produce cosmic rays much better than our LHC does and their collisions with us did not create black holes yet!! :D