Thursday, June 24, 2010

Shitty jokes

Aberto recommended me some stuff to put into the blog (sorry, Spanish only) so here you have (jokes regarding shit and how to call to the fact of producing such noble element):

As I found it interesting, I looked in internet for a page presenting such different ways of calling this interesting act and found the following

The shitting synonyms I like the most say something like:

- going to say goodbye to an inner friend
- going to free Willy
- going to externalize my uneasiness
- going to switch from abstract to concrete
- going to paint a black angel
- going to add flavour into the soup
- going to show off the best of myself
- going to discard an hypothesis
- going to negociate the freedom of hostages

St. John's Feast Day!!!

And almost nobody has congratulated Maikel!!! He is very very upset and is going to kill you all. Ta tse skotoso!!

We must go somewhere to the lakeside and make some fire to celebrate!!!

Weina and Norbert are back!!!

Both of them arrived CERN at the beginning of this week but it seems that they were hyper-busy and had no time to show up to the Maikels.

Maikel expect to be able to lunch with us today (and maybe play some Munchkin in the afternoon) and Mikaela hopes to be able to lunch with us tomorrow.

Let's hope we can see them before they leave 'forever' again!!!

PS: there are also rumours about Eleni coming back for few weeks some time soon but I have no gossip confirmation about that :)

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Tango in Jardin Anglais is opened again!!

Come on, maikels!!! Maikel cannot afford to satisfy all these girls alone by himself in one night!! You should all come here with me!!

I will go tonight. The website is:

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Dual toilets in China!!!

Fidel sent me this horrible disgusting report about a real dual toilet existing in one airport in China...

I remember these ancient times when I joked with Valentina about my great idea of having dual toilets where couples of lovers could talk freely about their feelings while releasing themselves from the heavy stuff filling their inside. With nice conversations, ending all in "plof - plof"...

PS: in my joke, the lovers would sit back-to-back, so they can hear but not see each other. This Chinese version where you can even see the other person is... disgusting!! And they even say in the report that it is a mixed toilet, where in principle men and women shit together!!

PS2: I was very tempted but I will not make a poll for the time being asking about if you would use such a dual toilet :D Not even I would use it!!!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

MCCM tomorrow Wednesday about presentations!!

Eli will talk about how to make a good slides presentation (not explaining powerpoint but just explaining how the slides should be and how you should talk). Most physicist should learn that stuff...

Details are at:

I ignore what she will talk about but I guess she will seriously warn physicists about common practices like:

- creating the presentations in the same meeting while the previous speaker is presenting
- putting tons of text into the slides in tiny letters (so nobody can read it & complain)
- copying/pasting just a paper and putting it into the slides (variation of the previous bullet)
- making the slides so boring, colourless and simple that everybody will be tempted to have a nice siesta while in the presentation
- speaking showing our pretty back to the public just reading the slides rather than speaking to the people

(all these are real cases I am used to see...)

Amita discovered the gossip blog!!

And she says she will write stuff in there so be scared, very scared...

PS: ok, I wrote her actual name because most of you don't know her. You can just call her Mikaela. She is having trouble right now to get CERN wifi signal so we are safe as she cannot write stuff still.

PS2: also Alicia re-discovered the blog today and read the entry about her regarding the CMS control room!! :D

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Lisbon gay striptease bar!

Maikel just came from Lisbon!! And he got back a t-shirt saying a joke in Portuguese that almost nobody gets from Pluto, the Disney character (in English: "Pluto is a son of a Pluta"). He might also bought other nice t-shirts like the one with the giraffe saying "Deep throat..." or the one of the male chicken with a saddle saying "Free cock rides".

While in Lisbon, one night he says he was working and not going out, other people (I repeat again, not him) went out looking for a typical Lisbon bar. A friend of a friend of them, told them about a nice pub to go in the center and they went there. The place was very promising, specially when they saw a very cute and pretty girl going out from there with few clothes, when they were entering the bar. Once inside, the show was... surprising. A tall guy dressed as a policeman was dancing slowly making a striptease in around the vertical central bar. Nobody even remembers the details of his policeman stick or how tight his clothes were. They say they stayed for long time in the bar because they think they heard by the speakers that the next stripteasers were supposed to be girls. Somehow they stayed there for some time but the girls did not appear. The following day everybody knows that someone was there but it was not clear who was in and who was just told about that...

Poll about "princess syndrome"!!!

Maikel's friend Ilde told him once about the legend of CERN's "princess syndrome". If the hypothesis is correct, most girls who arrive to CERN would eventually suffer this syndrome. Some weeks after noticing so many desperate men after them (as there are so few girls here) the hypothesis says that they would really start thinking about themselves about "little princesses" so pretty, nice and perfect that they deserve anything and any men is too little and not-worth for them.

I heard the opposite syndrome when a friend left CERN to go to work to the United Nations. There the percentages are just the opposite ones and with so many girls and so few men, girls start believing that they are all ugly and dumb because they don't have (and seem not ever going to have) a couple.

Looking in the web for "princess syndrome" I just noticed that CERN guys are not the only ones to think about that...

Anyway, just vote in the poll!! Do you think the syndrome is real? Or is it just an excuse of frustrated and desperate CERN men to try to explain why they don't have couple? :D