Tuesday, November 30, 2010

NASA conference on Astrobiology Discovery!!!

Yeah, NASA and CERN is not the same, I know, but Fidel told me about these interesting NASA news for us.

Textually, "NASA will hold a news conference at 2 p.m. EST on Thursday, Dec. 2, to discuss an astrobiology finding that will impact the search for evidence of extraterrestrial life." It will be broadcast live on the NASA website.

They don't clarify which is the important finding that will impact so much our lives. I fear the worst. They might have found intelligent life anywhere... Probably, after so many years looking for it on Earth, they were not able to find any intelligence in the life here, specially at CERN, and then they started looking at the stars... Or, who knows, maybe it's just the opposite. Maybe they just found other ones like us, to go to have parties and get drunk, without any intelligence at all. That would be fun!

Monday, November 29, 2010

CERN has 3 DGs!!! (poll about CERN toilets)

In my last poll about CERN toilets, we made a fatal discovery: CERN has 3 Director Generals!!! Or it might be also that he voted 3 times!!! Or maybe someone (mean) voted saying that he/she was the DG???

Of course this fact points out that at least one of the following sentences is true:
  • the toilets used by CERN DG are always very clean (not like the one Maikel used past week...)
  • there is mean people that is not sincere with what they vote in the blog!!
  • people coming to vote to the blog is just having fun and voting nonsense :D
The poll also discovered that there is at CERN one worker that is a robot!!! And not only that, this robot thinks that all other CERN workers are also robots... Poor little robot... so innocent... or not?? Can anyone of you prove that you are NOT a robot???

Ok, the results of the poll were:

What do you think about CERN toilets??
They are quite ok, I've shit in worse places
4 (28%)
Somehow they make me shit antimatter
5 (35%)
I like them (and they are individual, not double)
2 (14%)
Horrible, dirty, unhealthy, insane
3 (21%)
I like them. They're clean and perfect (I'm CERN's DG)
3 (21%)
Toilets?? What are these?? Why do you need them to shit?
1 (7%)
I don't use them, I'm a robot. Aren't you also one?
1 (7%)
Don't know. We don't have in my building. We do that outside with the cows and the sheeps.
0 (0%)

Votes so far: 14
Poll closed

Gordon Freeman spotted at CERN... AGAIN!!!

You can see that the end of the world is coming...

I already warned about Gordon Freeman being spotted at CERN (http://nakedcern.blogspot.com/2010/10/gordon-freeman-spotted-at-cern.html).

Now, Piero has discovered the following photo of him trying to kill one of these little monsters coming from the parallel dimension world of Xen. He screwed up with the latest Heavy Ion collisions and now is trying to kill the little monsters hoping that nobody will notice!!! No luck, these photos prove that they are already among us...

Well, some people already pointed out that the monsters are not so ugly. Compared with CERN boys and girls, they are actually even cute... mmm, I think I'm falling in love... Uuuuuuuuuh!!!

Monday, November 22, 2010

ET's resurrection!!!!

Something happened to one of Maikel's friends. One day, something appeared like going out from her hair. Most people just thought that she started mutating into something weird. That is a very well known secondary effect of being physicist, specially if you have ever been at CERN. But this time was different. Someone positively identified the strange shape on top of her head as being... ET's hand!!!!

Then, we were wondering how is possible that we get news from ET so long time after its first movie. Now it all makes sense. We all thought that it went back to its planet. But the truth is much darker. Eventually, the spaceship had a problem and ET fell down to Earth again. And now all indicates that it went into Esther's head!!! Finally, after many years of hard work, he is managing to escape and already has a hand out. Good work, ET!! Keep going!!! Soon, this will become the second movie: "ET 2. Resurrection."

But someone else pointed out that ET is probably dead since long time ago. It could not survive so long without food and whatever it needs... So, if this is its hand. This means that it is a zombie!!! It is hard to think about that but our dear ET has become a zombie!! And after eating Esther's brain, finally is managing to escape from the hair prison and will spread the terror all around the world!!!

Only CERN's LHC can save us. We are already pointing our anti-matter beams to the hair prison but unfortunately we could only produce 38 anti-atoms so we could only scratch ET.... We will try to do it better next time!!!

Monday, November 15, 2010

CERN dark secret!!!

Today Maikel wanted to try out the toilet in front of his new office in building 10 (yes!!! after 2 years of contract, finally he got an office!! he shares it with other 5 people but still is better than nothing!!). When he entered into the restroom, he made a fatal discovery. That CERN toilet smells like shit. And he swears it was not his fault. The smell was abnormally unhealthy. Like... some physics... shit... Then, he realizes that right aside is LEIR, the anti-matter ring (where first anti-matter atoms were ever created by mankind). Finally, wondering about how do these machines get the anti-matter (with the help of Valentina's insane intelligence), everything made sense: CERN physicists shit anti-matter and that is the fuel used for the accelerators!!!! That is the "dark" secret of CERN!!! And of course, that also solves the mystery about why CERN's restaurants food is so awful!!! We surely have been eating something unusual to be able to shit antimatter!!!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Maikel is in the CMS news!!!

Once again, Maikel got famous and was in the CMS official electronic newspaper!!


The article is nice and he is very proud of it but some people has noticed that the picture does not seem very natural and there are suspicions of having some photoshop on it... Who knows if some hacker could have added his picture!!

Anyway, the CERN lovers of the gossip can finally know the faces of the people who works with Maikel. Now they can put faces to these people and imagine the most funny and unbelievable gossips about all of them!!